Purium Cleanse

Monday, September 18, 2016

This morning I started a cleanse. I will admit, I've always been really skeptical of cleanses because they feel so rigid. I've always worried that instead of helping me feel alive and vibrant, like proponents promise, I would feel tired, worn out, and socially ostracized. I imagined myself unobtrusively eating celery sticks during lunch and washing them down with a kale smoothie, while my companions enjoyed untold culinary delights. Like burritos. And burgers with fries (can’t forget the fries).

And I don’t want to be the “good eater.” You know how eating "healthy" comes with this holier than thou stamp, people look at you with part skepticism, part pity and and part “should.” It’s as though they see your food and it triggers the, “I should be eating that…” Nothing ruins food quicker than guilt. So I had to talk myself past the social fear, past the fear that I wouldn't feel good, that I couldn't do it, and that I would cement myself forever in the eyes of my coworkers as that crazy girl who drinks green juice.

Lately, I've been doing a lot of research into vegan diets and how a plant-based diet can be extremely beneficial in calming inflammation. Because of a past whip-lash injury that effected my neck and the nerves in my right arm, this is of great interest to me. I wondered if I could use the medicine of food to heal the lingering inflammation from my injury? I heard of a cleansing program called Purium (that is plant based, but supposedly does not make one go crazy for meat), and that after careful vetting and firsthand research (I tried out the products at an informational session) it sounded like a viable option. I knew that I wanted a vegan shake with a decent amount of digestible protein (this one uses spirulina) that tasted good and was not sweetened with Stevia. I don't know about you, but I can't stand the taste of Stevia. For me it has a one-tone sweetness followed a very bitter chaser. The great thing about the Powershake by Purium is that it is sweetened with Monk Fruit (Luo Han Guo), an alternative sweetener that I love. And most of the ingredients are certified organic. So I signed up. And after waiting for about five days, I received a big box full of powdered shakes, pills and books.

Day One. This seems SUPER complicated. Did I just spent all this money on a scam?

The first day was exciting and nerve wreaking. I unpacked all of the products. I tried to get the schedule straight of when I eat and what I eat (or drink as the case may be). I set reminders on my phone for the first day that told me what step I was on. I set up alarms every two hours. If you’re wondering it goes something like this: Wake up. Pills and raw food. Two hours later. A shake (and more pills). Repeat for three cycles spanning ten hours. Suddenly, I realized one of the things I was most excited about was not cooking or prepping food for 10 days. By the end of day one I was starting to feel a bit tired with a feeling reminiscent of a hangover. This may be from detoxing. If a lot of heavy metals and other impurities move out of the body, it may feel a little funky. Because of this I made a conscious choice to eat a little bit more for dinner. I had about 2 cups of steamed vegetables with coconut oil and lemon juice, and I snacked on celery.

Day Two. Wow, I'm actually not hungry!

I woke up bright eyed and bushy tailed an hour and a half before my alarm went off. Going to the bathroom was a little surprising, it was very green, but my digestion seemed to be fine after the first day. Today I had a potluck at work and I would not have believed it if you had told me, but I did not want any of the potluck food. I was actually happy with my cucumber slices, carrot sticks and melon. People told me that I wouldn’t get hungry with this cleanse, and I truly didn't, nor fall into the pit of food envy. Today I ate an avocado in the morning, and apple and cucumbers for lunch. I added summer squash with coconut and lemon juice at the end of the day.

Day Three. Hangover

Today I woke up with the distinct feeling of detox. My mouth tasted like metal and my body felt slow and sluggish. I had been warned that this would happen and was actually grateful that it didn't feel too bad. Granted, I felt slow but nothing like what some people report when they detox. All day I have been slow. Not hungry necessarily, just feeling like I would be happy to curl up under my covers, read, and nap the day away. I have the system down. I know when to take the pills and drink the shakes. If I could go back to this morning I would tell my morning self to wear more clothes, today I was cold! I'm looking forward to having more energy. I ate blueberries and half a small avocado for breakfast. For lunch I had carrots, celery and cucumbers with green grapes. For dinner I added about a half a cup of applesauce that I made from some slightly wrinkled apples.

Day Four. Period.

So I am pretty sure that my period is starting. A bit early, but that is not totally out of the norm for me. Which would explain why I feel like a total grouch and would rather not talk to anyone. I woke up a bit achy too. But again this is the norm, so let’s see how it plays out. I did decide today to increase my food calories. I added two small avocados to my celery and cucumber lunch. And I added grapes. Which is a big lunch for me normally, so now at 4:00pm I’m really not hungry. I realized today that I am not missing food but I am also looking forward to when this is over because it is a bit monotonous. Let’s see what tomorrow brings.

Day Five.  Cheater, Cheater

With the start of my period came an increased desire for food. And not just any food. Salty food. And fatty food. And sweet food. I have always thought that our cravings for food tell us something about the body. A craving for cheese may not necessarily mean I need to break out the brie, but it may mean my body needs fat and it is used to getting fat from cheese. I thought about how I would need to modify the program so that I could keep my strength up and get through the next four to six days. To do this I looked at the foods that were suggested after the cleanse and added some. I ate avocado for breakfast. An apple, cucumber and celery for lunch and my old faithful steamed squash with some added quinoa rice rotini for dinner. 

Day Six. I dream of food

I woke up in the middle of the most amazing dream about food. I was at an office lunch where food was ordered in and instead of the usual turkey sandwiches on whole wheat someone had ordered all these amazing dishes and they started arriving in large brown paper bags. There was steaming hot lasagna with melted cheese. Salads with all the good stuff like cheese and nuts. Sushi. Roast Chicken with mashed potatoes. Indian food. Thai food. Pizza. And the bags kept coming. My unconscious mind was definitely saying something. In waking life my appetite was almost non-existent. I think there is some magic in the amino acid pills and the shake. Some strange, mind altering magic. I ate a mash-up of the previous day's menu. Veggies, fruit and some added carbs.

Day Seven. No pain (no pills)

I have a history of painful periods. I hope you will hang in there with me through this taboo topic because I know I'm not alone in this. I have tried almost everything to reduce the pain short or removing my ovaries. What was immediately apparent was that I was having a much easier start to my period. No extremely painful contractions, not headache, and no nausea. I could feel my body doing it's thing, but the extreme pain that almost always necessitates copious amounts of pain relievers, was absent. It has been suggested that pain relievers like Tylenol, Motrin and Advil are really rough on the stomach, often setting off chain reactions of inflammation which then contributes to chronic pain.  I chalked my pain free state up to reduced inflammation, a happy belly and seven days of eating nutrient dense food. The real test will be in whether I have no period pain the months that follow, as I adapt this program into a long term maintenance plan. On day seven I had very little appetite so I stuck to the basic cleanse regimen of amino acids and shakes and I skipped solid food.

Day Eight. Are we done yet? Are we done yet? Are we done yet?

Full disclosure, I took three 500mg Tylenol pills throughout day eight as a preventative. This is down from my usual 4,000mg to 6,000mg in a 24 hour period. I had a busy work day and could not quite trust that my body wouldn't revert to old patterns. I'm not entirely sure I would have needed them, but like I mentioned above my cramps are debilitating and once the pain train leaves the station there is not turning back. Only sleep, pain pills and time cure that one. My diet was back to the norm again. I had an apple for breakfast, Avocado (with salt and lemon), cucumber and celery for lunch and my trusty steamed squash with some added quinoa rice rotini for dinner.

Day Nine. I could do this forever.

Really, I could. I have other things in my life besides food that bring me pleasure. Who needs cheese? But if I do this forever, I will be cold forever. In fact, I have forgotten what it feels like to be warm. Note to self, never ever, ever do another cleanse over the week of your period. Period. I won't even bore you with my feeding schedule because now you know it was well as I do.

Day Ten. Meat tastes weird.

I had thought I would get to this point and head strait to In-and-Out before the day was done, but truthfully I didn't much want to. I did choose to add some turkey breast to my lunch of steamed veggies and was surprised that I didn't really want it. And beyond that, the meat tasted weird and unappetizing.  I know, turkey is always a bit bland, but this was turkey I had roasted myself with an Italian's share of garlic and my pallet's reaction was blah. So I may have inadvertently transformed myself into a vegetarian, which would not be the worst thing for the world. My food was the same with the addition of the turkey at lunch.

Some notes about my ten day journey. I did not strictly follow the cleanse. If I needed more carrots or grapes (which were not on the approved list), I had them. I added more fat because fat feeds the brain and I didn't have the option of taking a brain vacation. I did not do this cleanse to lose weight and I have not mentioned weight throughout but I have had some very noticeable slimming. I would recommend this cleanse for weight loss if that is a goal. I will keep this up in some form because my old injury has transformed to such an amazing degree that at times I am pain free. There is nothing I would not do to keep that ball rolling.

Change in food a beginning a whole piece on food medicine